For all intents and purposes, week 16 was the end of the regular season in the NFL. Undoubtedly most of you held your fantasy football Super Bowls this week and unless you are fans of the already ten teams that have clinched playoff spots, you only have one more week to hate you underachieving team that sunk all your hopes and dreams this season (The Bengals have aged me 4.25 years this season. When I die early, my will and testament will mandate that the Bengals reimburse my children monetarily for the 4.25 years they stole. Don’t even think I’m joking about this.)
With only two playoff spots to be determined, there are exactly 4 games of any true interest this week and that’s it. Everyone else is out of luck. Is you love the Vikings, Titans, Redskins, or Browns, you are sitting on pins and needles. If you love the Ravens…not so much! Seeing as how the Cowboys, Packers, Pats, Colts, Seahawks, Jaguars, Bucs, and Giants have nowhere to go and can’t better their seed, we are sure to get a healthy dose of the Jim Sorgi’s and the Kevin Faulk’s. Not the most entertaining of weeks in the NFL.
In honor of this week of impotence, I thought it would be fun to look back at my preseason rankings and see how closely I came to predicting each team’s success this season. Mixed in with my usual rankings will be a “PR” moniker which will indicate where I had each team placed before the season ever took off. It should be fun to see how retarded I am. But then again, if you predicted the Packers going 12-3 or the Ravens going 4-11 you are a better person than I. Just so you know, the stats on my preseason rankings aren’t pretty – I got exactly 1 team correct (Kansas City at #27) and was off by an average of 9.5 positions with each ranking. The lesson, as always: I’m an idiot.
Oh by the way, Merry Christmas to everyone out there in football land. Hope you got everything your heart desired. If you aren’t Christian, then merry whatever the hell you celebrate. Hope your “ritual” was equally as enlightening.
Onto the list…
- New England Patriots (15-0)
Last Week – 1
PR – 2
Does anyone even care about their drive for a perfect season? I think the only person who seems to care is Mercury Morris and even ESPN has stopped talking to him. Its overkill I tell you.
- Indianapolis Colts (13-2)
Last Week – 2
PR – 1
Here’s a team that’s sitting pretty: Yes they have to go through Foxboro to get to the Super Bowl, but they will be well rested and will have their superstar back in the lineup itching for some catches. Not to mention that the Patriots have been playing like a wounded duck lately and the Colts may just be able to outrun them. It should be interesting.
- Dallas Cowboys (13-2)
Last Week – 4
PR – 9
Losing T.O. would be the worst things that could happen to the Cowboys right now. With Romo’s less-than-stellar play as of late, this team needs the T.O. boost more than ever. It will be interesting to see how they go into the playoffs. It helps that they get home field advantage throughout.
- Jacksonville Jaguars (11-4)
Last Week – 5
PR – 14
Talk about going in on a high note, the Jaguar team has won 6 of their last seven games and has yet to have a two game losing streak this season. If momentum is important going into the playoffs, this team is in great shape.
- San Diego Chargers (10-5)
Last Week – 6
PR – 3
The same thing can be said for the Chargers who are on a 5-game winning streak and have exorcised the demons of the first part of the season. Not only that, but did you see Philip Rivers openly taunting Jay Cutler on Monday night? That scores a 15 out of 10 on the ballsy scale. In my book, the roles could easily be reversed on old Philip.
- Green Bay Packers (12-3)
Last Week – 3
PR – 19
The Packers aren’t sliding at all, but the way they didn’t show up for a very important game against a very inept team really troubles me. Teams don’t generally do well in the playoffs if they have trouble in the crucial games of the regular season. This Packer team seems to be slumping at the wrong time.
- Seattle Seahawks (10-5)
Last Week – 8
PR – 8
Ending their season with the Cardinals, Panther, Ravens and Falcons should have been a nice way to coast into the playoffs. Their little hiccup last week with the Panthers definitely raised some red flags. Did you know that Shaun Alexander hasn’t had a 100-yard game since week 3 against the Bengals?
- Pittsburgh Steelers (10-5)
Last Week – 10
PR – 13
Willie Parker’s loss will prove to be the Achilles heal of this team in the playoffs. Yes, Najeh Davenport had a great game filling in for Parker against the Rams, but we are talking about the Rams here. Another thing to keep in mind was how well Davenport played as a fill-in for Ahman Green in Green Bay. Scary huh?
- Washington Redskins (7-8)
Last Week – 13
PR – 20
This team is definitely the feel good story of the season but I’m almost hoping they don’t make the playoffs at this point. With Todd Collins at QB and Santana Moss being dead this season, the Redskins just aren’t built for the post season. It will be one and done if the make it in.
- NY Giants (10-5)
Last Week – 14
PR – 21
The way they fought back against an emotional Bills team this week was really nice to see out of the usually feeble Giants. This does in no way mean that I think they will get the job done in the playoffs. Manning is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too shaky for that.
- Cleveland Browns (9-6)
Last Week – 7
PR – 30
In the past two weeks Derek Anderson has had a passer rating of 55.2 and thrown for 2 TDs and 4 INTs. Not exactly the play you want out of you QB as you are fighting for a playoff spot. Now, their playoff isn’t even in their own hands.
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-6)
Last Week – 11
PR – 28
Looks like Gruden didn’t really give it his all this week against the 49ers but it didn’t matter anyway. I wouldn’t think this is a sign of weakness from the Bucs, just giving the starters some rest.
- Minnesota Vikings (8-7)
Last Week – 9
PR – 31
See what happens when you stop Peterson? The Vikings lose, that’s what. Teams are hip to this jive and it’s biting the Vikes at the worst time. Their playoffs hopes are grim but non-existent just yet.
- Tennessee Titans (9-6)
Last Week – 15
PR – 23
This is a pretty weak that is in control of their own destiny right now. Should Indy decide to mail this one in, the Titans should be able to capitalize, but I wouldn’t hold my breath with the Titans being involved.
- Philadelphia Eagles (7-8)
Last Week – 17
PR – 10
Nice run but al for nothing. Had the Eagles eeked out a couple more wins, we would be looking at all 4 NFC East teams vying for the post-season. Now that would have been fun. Alas, the Eagles suck…what are you gonna do?
- New Orleans Saints (7-8)
Last Week – 12
PR – 4
Too little too late for the Saints. This week’s loss to the Eagles slammed the door in their face for good and the Saints are forced to dream of what might have been had they not started the season 0-4.
- Arizona Cardinals (7-8)
Last Week – 20
PR – 22
I almost felt bad when the Cards beat the Falcons in overtime this week. With all the bad things that have happened to the Falcons this season and with interim head coach Ossie Davis I want the Falcons to have at least one good thing going for them. Instead, they now have to stomach rumors of Marty Schottenhiemer as their new head coach.
- Detroit Lions (7-8)
Last Week – 21
PR – 25
Hey…they won!!! To bad the previous six games they lost in a row sunk their team for good.
- Houston Texans (7-8)
Last Week – 16
PR – 29
If the Texans can get healthy next season and add a consistent running back to their mix, they might just be something special. Their defense is pretty good and they offense is lacking just a few components. I see goo things for them.
- Buffalo Bills (7-8)
Last Week – 18
PR – 24
If there is such a thing, the Bills had a gutsy loss this week. They fought the Giants tooth and nail but just didn’t have enough in them to pull it out.
- Cincinnati Bengals (6-9)
Last Week – 23
PR – 11
Aside from Frank Gore, was there a more disappointing fantasy player who didn’t get hurt than Carson Palmer?
- San Francisco 49ers (5-10)
Last Week – 22
PR – 17
Speaking of Frank Gore, isn’t it nice to see him gobble up yardage just in time for most fantasy teams to not be able to use them?
- Chicago Bears (6-9)
Last Week – 24
PR – 6
The real star of this week’s game against the Packers was the special teams who had not one but punts this game. The Packers answered with a blocked punt of their own, but the Bears were running away with it by then.
- Carolina Panthers (6-9)
Last Week – 19
PR – 15
I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t see a minute of this game this week but something tells me that I didn’t miss much from the Panthers.
- Denver Broncos (5-10)
Last Week – 25
PR – 7
The Chargers just embarrassed the Broncos this week, both on the scoreboard as well as pulling the Bronco’s skirts up. Jay Cutler is going to need years of therapy to get over this one.
- Oakland Raiders (4-11)
Last Week – 26
PR – 32
Jamarcus Russell’s first start could have gone better but at least he got in the game. Nobody expects greatness out of him right away and he did get his first TD pass so there is hope.
- Kansas City Chiefs (4-11)
Last Week – 27
PR – 27
This team sucks. Fire Herm Edwards and banish him to the CFL.
- St. Louis Rams (3-12)
Last Week – 28
PR – 16
They looked good against the Steelers for at least the first half, but them they made the mistake of getting into a shootout with Nancy. At least they have been showing signs of life lately and have something to build on for next season.
- Miami Dolphins (1-14)
Last Week – 29
PR – 18
Did anyone really think they stood chance this game? Technically, they did cover the spread (+22).
- Baltimore Ravens (4-11)
Last Week – 30
PR – 5
Resting all his hurt veterans, Brian Billick has called it a season two weeks early. Honestly, not a bad move.
- NY Jets (3-12)
Last Week – 31
PR – 12
Chad Pennington did a good enough job this week to start the QB rumor mill churning again. What is this world coming to?
- Atlanta Falcons (3-12)
Last Week – 32
PR – 26
Marty ball and the dirty bird?!?!?!?! I feel like I’m on crazy-pills.
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